It has been a few months, long and tiring months, since my love, Juhi, was killed in United States. Although the journey hasn't been easy, I can say with thanks to friends and God, for making it bearable. The overwhelming of support can be summed up in a single word: humbling. I cannot ever express enough thanks to the men and women around me; you held me up when I stumbled, you gave me the strength to continue, you reminded me to breath.
I still remember how fun my times were with her. Its hard to believe now that she is long gone. I am not sure how hard it is for others who are forced to lose their loved one's to an crappy accident. For me, time stopped when I heard that she met with an terrible accident while heading home and struggling for life. Eventually, she couldn't make it and I had to lose her. I was scared to believe that I could see those beautiful smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die!
Every now and then my mind would linger on a single thought - about Juhi's life and her accomplishments, and I wondered how I influenced her, if at all. I always described her as being able to do anything I could do, "only better". Hearing all sort of things of her furthered this perception. She was adorable, a good lover, probably the most beautiful girl in the world, and she made people laugh and feel good about themselves and most importantly to me.
Each one of us goes on with the lives we were given. What scares me most is that this wouldn't change, this sorrow, this mourning, this sense of loss. And I would be changing, moving on to new relationships, new friendships, and new interests and still be dead inside. As I continue on my journey, I will heal and grow. Life goes on without you, I wish you here…
